i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
