I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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