Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
