remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
