Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
