wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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