Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
