i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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