If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
