flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
