It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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