I must be too annoying 4 u.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
