I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
