if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
