just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
