we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
