So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
