So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
