We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
