don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize