Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
