Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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