dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
