I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
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He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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