My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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