Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
