"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Randomize
