Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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