apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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