I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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