Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
