take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We're too hungover to prance.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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