She's JV to your varsity
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
