weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
