I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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