I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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