is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
