did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
How external is "for external use only"?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
