Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
