the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
