you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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