If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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