I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
