I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
