do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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