he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
