So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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