You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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