This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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