I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
