I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
