I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize