ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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