do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
