I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
