I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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