i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
