ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
