i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
